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Learning how to be single again after being in a long relationship can be tough. Depending on how the relationship ended, you might be experiencing one or more of the following feelings: sadness, relief, betrayal, loneliness, anger… the list goes on.
It can be scary getting back into dating after a long break. Sometimes, past relationships can leave us with worries about what future relationships might be like.
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This is especially common if things ended badly, but can also apply even if things ended fairly amicably. Relationships can leave deep wounds — sometimes deeper than we realise. You may feel like you did everything to save the relationship while your partner did nothing.
You may even feel like they actively sabotaged things. This can leave you bitter, and wary of showing the same level of trust in someone new.
Sometimes, changes in circumstances — or changes in people — can be enough for something that worked ly to stop working a few years down the line. This can be equally hard to deal with, especially if you both feel you did everything you could to save the relationship. It can leave you fearful that exactly the same thing could happen again.
Friends and family — people you can trust and who you know will listen to you — can be a great help. Being able to explain feelings and get different perspectives can be a really useful way of beginning to understand why you have these feelings.
And sometimes understanding them — even if they stay painful to think about — can be the start of letting them go.
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At Relate, we commonly see single people for one-to-one counselling. Counselling can also be a great way of becoming more aware of your relationship habits — both good and bad. One worry a lot people have when it comes to re-entering the dating game is simply: how do you do it? It can be nerve—wracking thinking about how to actually meet new people, particularly if your social situation is quite different from when you were last single. It can be easy to get overwhelmed with worries. You might like to start by simply trying to be more social. You could go along to clubs that reflect your hobbies or interests, local societies, reconnect with old friends and so on.
One other option, of course, is online dating. Online dating offers all kinds of choice when it comes to potential partners — allowing you to match with people based on hobbies or interests. You can talk to an expert Relate counsellor online or find your nearest Relate. You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Being single and dating How to get back into dating after a long break. How to get back into dating after a long break.
How will I know? Dealing with feelings from relationships Sometimes, past relationships can leave us with worries about what future relationships might be like.
Where and how do you start? How we can help You can talk to an expert Relate counsellor online or find your nearest Relate.